Suicide ? Drugs ? Drinking ? Girls? ? Just need idk... WTF is wrong with me?

I'm 21 right now, but I remember almost feeling like I was having a second puberty when I was 19. Seriously, no one warned me about it, but that's when this whole "I gotta grow up" **** started to hit me. It gets better in time dude. Honestly, I smoked a lot of weed to help get me through a good chunk of that year. It's kinda shitty for a while, but it does get better dude. I promise.